We’ve already looked at what to do with business cards – and what to put on them – so check that out then enjoy these cool/certifiably insane ways to give someone your email address. Includes a card made of meat and one involving a pop-up bike. 

The edible card. Because you like to get your teeth into new projects, are able to competently chair meatings (sorry) and have strong people skills unless the person in question is vegetarian. You’ll never hire, let alone speak to, a vegetarian/someone who doesn’t want to keep rotting flesh with your name on it in their wallet.

The Lego card. You’re a kooky gal who doesn’t take life seriously but has very large pockets and a bizarrely roomy wallet. But nobody minds because you’re so bloody fun!!!!!1111 heehee. Or you work for Lego. (image: mymodernmet.com)

The rubber card. To show you’re a flexible worker willing to bend over backwards to keep clients happy. Multifunctional: can also be used as a stress ball to relieve tension, be catapulted at annoying colleagues and as an inflatable lilo for approximately 30 ants. (image: www.davidairey.com)

The clever card. Ooh you’ve created a little bike out of your business card? That must demonstrate incredible technical skills, patience and creativity. Fair enough actually, because this is pretty impressive. Anyone who creates a business card that doubles as a cool ornament should get hired immediately tbh. (image from designyoutrust.com)

The book of matches card. Favoured by the edgy, fiesty and those who don’t think things through; once the matches have been used up, the person you’re trying to network is just left with a bit of cardboard easily mistaken for rubbish. Also, who uses matches these days? Really? Who are you, Charles Dickens?! I presume he used matches. (image: Good Design//Bad Design)

The clothes peg card. OK this is actually genius, especially if you’re trying to get a job as a washerwoman (or washerman) or have been known to hang your laundry on a line. Only problem is, what if it gets mixed up in the peg box with the other pegs? My grandmother has a peg box and is always losing her lucky blue one. Solution: only network those who look like they have clothes horses i.e. don’t schmooze nans. (image: Good Design//Bad Design)

The interactive card. Shows real creativity; anything that involves a sticker and cleverly engages with the profession you’re trying to promote gets about 1000 marks from us. And it’s a good way of easing those awkward small talk silences, too. Whip out your card and watch everyone play around with the adhesive. (image: Good Design//Bad Design)

The “hilarious” jokey arrogant card. Oh alright Mark Zuckerberg, stop being so bloody smug and hysterically funny and maybe start thinking about the ways in which you’ve been slowly overcomplicating Facebook to the extent that it’s become massively annoying eh? Thanks mate. (image: Makebadge.com)

Sufficiently inspired? Roadtest your brand new meat-Lego-bike-clothespeg business card that breathes fire and doubles as a small caravan at one of our brilliant networking events…