University is winding down and it’s time to look over our first terms away from home. Starting university can be like a whole new year, just without the weird crossing arms and singing Auld Lang Syne thing (no one knows what the hell is going on, and don’t tell me you do), mental amounts of fireworks, and desperately finding somebody to snog at midnight. Oh hold on. No let’s keep the last one. That still happens.

“This is a NEW START for me. I’m going to REINVENT myself,” said some new students as they pierced a part of their body they didn’t think was pierceable and tie dyed their jeans.

Sometimes it works. The girl you used to see in the corner of the library in college pushing her glasses up her nose with her head in a book and saying barely three words a week is now all over Facebook pouting and drinking dirty pints on top of a bar in the seediest club in Nottingham. The boy in a snapback always entering class late and leaning back on his chair as he KMTd his teachers is now in a nice jumper and jeans at his actual waist scribbling down his lectures notes with so much ferocity that his pen is smoking.

People change, naturally, and mostly for the better. Confidence soars and independency blows their mind. But for some, the first term at university hasn’t gone so well and they’re still stuck in their room spreading a packet of 40p Asda Smartprice digestives across breakfast, lunch, and dinner because they’re too scared to go into their own kitchen.

SO, as Christmas and New Year is in sight, here is a list of resolutions for those perhaps close to having a bit of a nervy-b which is definitely not me no I’m fine will you SHUT UP god.

Repeat after me:

I WILL budget my money better by not buying iced madeira cake in bulk. Yes, they HAVE put the price up by 30p because you’re buying it all.

I WILL walk back from university more instead of getting the bus because it’s the only fresh air you get. Plus the buses are bendy ones and I don’t trust them and their bendy death-trap ways.

I WILL continue to hand in assignments at least two days before the deadline, because the story of the girl who tripped out of the lift and twisted her ankle with two minutes to spare and couldn’t hobble to the desk in time is NOT A SITUATION MY HEART COULD TAKE.

I WILL carry on going to the pub quiz because the quizmaster is hot.

I WILL NOT keep obsessing about what others are doing and constantly self-deprecate over it because hey, as much fun was had watching Nativity 2 with friends as those out at the clubs you know you hate.

I WILL NOT keep quiet when stressed and/or upset. People are everywhere. Snot all over them.

I WILL NOT fret over friends drifting away. They have drifted away you daft plumb, to geographically another place, but this is the time where you realise people are starting to be grown ups, and do that grown up thing of having their own lives. THEY DON’T HATE YOU.

I WILL NOT worry, dude. Do whatever makes you happy and rest will fall into place. That’s how it goes, right?