His head’s just been found under a carpark, but when Richard III was alive and ruling the country, he made some serious howlers. Often (wrongly) depicted as having a withered arm, a hunch and a limp, here are the five career mistakes of one of the most infamous kings England has ever seen.
1. When crown/job/internship hunting, don’t ruin your chances by accusing current employees of conspiring against you then killing them
Being a king in the Middle Ages was pretty much an internship – you’re never sure how long it will last, there’s a lot of people fighting for the job and your hours are often quite flexible. While Richard was angling to become king, he murdered Baron Hastings so, when he finally started got the job – sorry, when he finally became king, everyone around him sort of thought he was a paranoid weirdo so it all got off to a terrible start. Make sure you don’t make a bad impression before you’ve even applied, yeah?
2. When your dream job lands in your lap, give it a few years before you start murdering your rivals
Pretty basic people management skills, really. When Richard’s brother Edward IV died, Edward’s 12 year-old son was named king, which was admittedly a bit young. Richard looked after him by keeping in a tower with his brother (also confusingly called Richard) but, when little Edward V was found to be illegitimate and big Richard was crowned king, the two young boys were never seen again. He could have at least given it a few years before (literally) getting rid of the opposition. Who weren’t even 15 years old yet. And couldn’t even ascend to the throne. It’s all about perspective, people.
3. Be aware of marketing yourself as a brand
Richard was a PR nightmare. We all know how important it is to publicise Brand You and, sure, he wasn’t able to check his Klout score/hire a high-powered media darling back then, but that doesn’t excuse the fact that everyone remembers he had a withered arm, a hunch and a limp (he didn’t – Shakespeare made it up, and called him ‘so lamely and unfashionable/That dogs bark’. Bit harsh).
They don’t remember that his Council of the North idea improved conditions greatly in Britain. He also introduced the Court of Requests, which helped poor people have their problems heard, which was nice. It’s not all Shakespeare’s fault, though, because if Richard had put a little more effort into at least APPEARING as though he wasn’t a total creep, everyone might not have swallowed Will’s skewed interpretation quite so easily.
4. Stand out from the rest
There are far too many people getting their Richards and Henrys and Edwards mixed up. Maybe it would have been beneficial for him to have had a bit of a name rebrand? Ri-3. K-Rick (K for King). At least it’d be a little different to everyone else vying for the throne. Most importantly, their portraits are all too similar – make sure your twitter profile and LinkedIn avatar don’t scream “I’m the same as everyone else”. Don’t go overboard on this, though – we’re going for “different” not “mental”.
5. When it comes to problems, plan ahead and come up with a strategy
Annoying bosses, sly colleagues, irritating receptionists, we all have issues in the workplace. Richard’s was that everyone really liked Edward IV so they weren’t that chuffed when he killed his son. Instead of sitting down and discussing the best way of getting people onside, he instead was all “WTF I’m a great king” having never had a chance to prove himself as being any good, because he’d stolen a murdered friend’s wife and killed his nephews. Bad move. Bit hard to come back from. Sort of thing that ends up with you being buried in a carpark.