This feature was written by Rebecca Akrofie

Sometimes commuting can be great, most of the time it’s terrible. Public transport isn’t meant to be glamourous, but some people just make it worse. Maybe you know the ones I mean. Here is a list of those people in random order:

1. The Sauntering Couple

“Awww” I hear you croon. “Don’t be so harsh, Harry and Sally are clearly in love!” Yes, but they’re walking so slowly! Meanwhile, I’m trying to sprint across the concourse to change lines. Save your sauntering for the park please!

uncomfortable

2. The Texter

Oh, you know who I mean. You’re walking behind someone who seems to be walking a bit slowly. You gain on them and awkward dance around them, as they blissfully sail through the walkways like they’re on holiday in Venice. You spy as, you hurry past, their fingers texting as slow as a sloth. You can’t walk and text at the same time and be successful. One or the other, not both.

no

3. The Avid Reader

Have you ever described yourself like this on a job application? I know I have. And it’s great that you read a lot. Just don’t do it when you’re at the bottom of an escalator. Surely your copy of the free newspaper/BuzzFeed article/ the latest novel everyone’s talking about, can wait until there isn’t a continuous flow of people behind you?

get way out bitch move

4. The Platform Huddlers

Platform huddlers love a good huddle and cuddle. Which is just great. Except when they do it at the entrance to the platform when I’ve finally dodged passed Texter and Reader. They also ignore the attendant’s pleas to move down the platform. D’oh!

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5. Mr and Mrs. Personal Space

These people looove their personal space, as do I. But these people are dedicated. They take a whole seat for their bag/skateboard/potted plant. Stretching their legs as far into the aisle as possible. Turning sideways to stretch their legs across the next seat. It’s almost like they paid for Club World service. Except they didn’t.

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6. The one person who won’t move down the carriage

These people are super confusing. It’s almost like they don’t want more space for themselves- or anyone else. You end up squashed by the door with 1000 people, whilst they have the aisle to themselves. Packed trains are unpleasant enough without being taunted by the person who won’t move down.

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7. The Carriage Town Crier

We all love a good natter with our friends on the way home. BUT THERE’S NO NEED TO SHOUT. We can’t believe what happened on I’m A Celeb either, but you can be shocked at a lower volume.

GIPHY Originals talking laughing phone haha

8. The Carriage Scrooges

Usually it’s only one elderly/injured/ pregnant person who gets on at once. But the amount of times I’ve seen people pretend not to notice so they can stay seated- not cool.

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9. The amazing train service that wasn’t

How many times have you stood on a packed platform for over 10 minutes waiting for a train that should have arrived 20 minutes ago? And then to make it better, an announcement says that the service is great, there are no problems at all! Who knew the train company I inhabit two different worlds.

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10. The Takeaway Chompers

I saved these people till last, to leave you with that memory of the time your nostrils were attacked by unwanted food smells in a cramped train, bus or tram. From KFC to garlic and onion laden curry, I’ve smelt it all. They just can’t wait till they get home, and neither can I.

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